A contrived face with
Vengence took over my whole appearance.
Mean and angry, I caught myself in the mirror.
This was the beginning of my life as a semipermeable,
The gas permeable.
It wasn’t always like this.
Door Two,
Tick, peer
Door Three,
Peer
Then down more steps.
A thousand and ten.
The mask is off,
Crashing relief and a scraping creak on the
bed.
I stared at the crack,
Larger and growing,
Longer and deeper.
It stared back.
Lurched from a distant twilight,
I awake and
Breath in the reality.
The bed groaned as I heaved up and landed
My feet on the floor.
The computer was viewing me,
It’s baleful hole, it’s sarcastic question
“What will you desire today, sir?”
A faitful servant.
The generated worlds of desire,
Striking at desire itself,
Until only one desire remains.
The Desire to Desire Itself.
So what new irony is upon us now?
Somehow differing from the others.
More real,
But always rolling over
To their whimsy.
My silent resentment directed inwards,
Intensified and reborn into an entire hatred of
humanity,
For all of mankind and confusion.
But existence itself was my enemy.
This exaggeration within me,
An over-blown passion against life
Brought joy in a scorned hole.
I was property,
But reluctant and difficult.
The workings, mechanisms, breathing:
I knew.
Cracks, Peelings, the boiler:
I knew.
For these, I was.
And unmoveable, a part of the building.
Over time the teachers ignored me.
I was physically avoided.
As I shambled down the corridor,
With a degenerated gait
A defeated walk,
Keys clanking at my side,
A teacher would detour to the right, left
To avoid my path.
Then appear again behind me.
Until they had to call upon me.
In all cases I relented.
It pained them to confront my resounding
wall of negativity,
Even in desperation their calls became fewer
And fewer.
