This didn’t sound like it would impress the line dance world too much or do a lot to enhance the poor street cred - but it was bound to be a fun opportunity ; so we presented ourselves on the day at the local Merstham recreation ground site which was home for that week to a small ‘village’ of mobile homes, (offices, dressing rooms, wardrobe etc) and a restaurant (converted double decker bus) with chefs busily preparing breakfast!
At this point it was confirmed that the music was changed .. a BBC library piece was to be used and also, umm, one of the comics ‘dancing’ was scripted to be dancing in a wheelchair!
After listening to the music we made our way to the ‘Iron Horse’ pub in Merstham
.. the filming location ..and went 'on set', avoiding staring at ‘oddly’ dressed
characters, carefully stepping over wires, round props and equipment to meet the production crew and director and got our orders for the day.
At this point we met an odd looking man with a strange wig and beard who turned
out to be Vic Reeves, a suited and ‘wigged’ Bob Mortimer, Tim Healey ( Auf Wiedersehen Pet) and Charlie ( our wheelchair dancer)
We tried out a few steps and it was immediately obvious that our new ‘pupils’
were complete beginners!
Bearing everything in mind and considering the lack of space for ‘the dance’ I set about making-up a dance;
(I called it ‘ Shooting Stars’ ) very simple but hopefully humorous (one wall on this occasion for ease of teaching)
Too soon after that in came rehearsal cameras and crew and the job began. There were the all too familiar problems that all beginners struggle with
ie lack of co-ordination, a sudden mental block on which is the left and right foot and a certain degree of chaos with direction etc.
Much to the amusement of the crew and on-lookers. I ‘led’ my protégées from a
position ‘ off camera’ to keep them going.
There were also extra problems with the lack of space for the wheelchair.. and a
shock was in store when one of the tyres exploded with a loud ‘bang’ rather
deflating it’s occupier’s already shaky confidence!
After about an hours rehearsal filming work we were a released for a welcome break and lunch.
Back on the set after lunch preparations were in progress for the final filming
but concentration had been disturbed, and a few hours and beers later our new
pupil’s memories had lapsed!
While we were giving a rather hasty recap, train tracks were being laid; and in
came larger cameras, extra crew, make up and prop people and 'extras'..... it
was getting ‘mighty crowded’. The atmosphere became ‘charged’ with urgency and
our main business of the day had begun.
The Director let the comics run through their lines and entrances etc linking in with the dancing a few times and then said that now for the final filming our ‘pupils’ would have to ‘go it alone.’
As with most new dancers; when the teacher stops dancing not much ‘goes right’ and these
funny men had everyone in fits with collisions’ and confusion ..totally having 'lost the plot'!!
The Director unfortunately was not so amused and tension was in the air! Bob Mortimer began to despair of
ever being able to 'get it right' and Tim Healy commented that is was easier when he was
being led ie‘following her wiggling bum !’ ...
Finally I suggested that it would be best for a small space to be cleared
to allow me to lead the final filming.
So much for the laid back instructions, the producer wanted many takes of just
feet, faces, clapping with and without music, but by about 4pm we were ‘wrapped’
and able to leave the set with all satisfied.
Everyone concerned had been so very helpful and friendly to us that feeling nostalgic
we left the ‘Iron Horse’ knowing we would not be seeing those particular ‘new
members’ again!
The series started on Sunday 15th February with the dancing in the first episode. It was, as expected, weird and wacky and watching our ‘thirty odd seconds’ was as surreal as taking part in it.
An experience we won’t forget !!!
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