TOM lives on a ragga tip. "Why anyone in their right minds would want to throw out a perfectly good ragga is beyond me," he comments. An auricular flat-earther, Tom will only listen to ragga and refuses to even countenance the existence of any other musical genres. "Balderdash," he says; and "pish-posh", and "fuck off".

Tom is a Hammond organ donor and sleeps fitfully in the daytime underneath a picture of margaret rutherford.