Transitions in Family
Life
We all know
that when we solve one difficulty in family life, we only seem to move straight
on to the next one! Family therapists recognise what they term as “transition
points” in the life of every family.
For example
- We find our dream partner and set up home thinking that all will be well and
that we will live in harmony with each other. But the reality is that we need
to learn to adjust to living as two. Then the children come along, and more
adjustments are needed. There are changes to be made as children grow and begin
to socialise, entering the turbulent teens as they launch themselves into young
adulthood and soon begin to go through the same cycle themselves.
In the
meantime, parents are becoming older and there are adjustments to retirement
and age. We may also be dealing with more than one change at a time. Ageing
parents may require more support and attention, just at the point when we feel
we need to be most available to our teenagers.
Families are never static. They grow, change
and develop together, mutually influencing each other, and influenced by the
community around them.
There are
various adjustments needed at each of these stages and sometimes if these have
not been done properly, trouble may occur later.
When
families come for help, the family therapist is not seeking to attribute blame
to anyone. The therapist works with the family, helping them to look at
patterns of behaviour, identifying those which are unhelpful, and working with
them to help make changes. Sometimes, a family may have simply reached a
certain stage of family life and are unable to move on to the next one. The
therapist does not pretend to have all the answers, but will work with the
family to find a unique solution which fits in with their beliefs.
Family Therapy is more correctly termed
Systemic Therapy, as it can be used to work with any group of people who are
trying to live or work together.