The Feature Film

A Norton Production (Released March 1971)
Copyright MCMLXXI (British) Productions Ltd.
Certificate U

Synopsis
Walmington on Sea 1940, the manager of Martins Bank, George Mainwaring refuses credit to a customer who wants to cash a cheque. The man protests that as a war is on he would have thought banks would have abolished red tape nonsense, Mainwaring emphasises that this man could be a spy. Mainwaring is unaware that he is a Major General.

Later, Mainwaring, his chief clerk, Wilson and junior clerk Frank Pike hear the Rt. Hon. Anthony Eden's call for local defence volunteers on the radio. Sweeping into action Mainwaring takes charge when he finds the local police are not prepared for a surge of applicants. Mainwaring appoints himself Captain, Wilson the sergeant and Jones, the local butcher, Lance Corporal after the old campaigner bribes him with some sausages; they base themselves in the local church hall.

Across the English Channel, the Germans plot Operation Sealion, while the LDV plot the actions they will take when faced with the enemy. As the newly formed platoon discusses petrol bomb tactics two workman arrive at the church to dismantle a church bell to be melted down for the war effort. The vicar, a campanologist decides to give his bells one final ring, unaware that he triggers off what the LDV perceive as a warning of invasion by the Germans.

Mainwaring and his men proceed to blockade the high street to discover that they have made a terrible mistake, and look ridiculous to the amusement of the ARP warden.

After the Dunkirk evacuation, the LDV are renamed the Home Guard, proud of his section Mainwaring investigates that the platoon should design various weaponry to battle the enemy. One of these, Frazer's anti-vehicle device is prematurely activated by Jones and causes the staff car of Major General Fullard to skid and nearly have a fatal accident. Winding down the window the Major General is horrified to discover the man who is Captain of the platoon is the bank manager who refused to cash his cheque months earlier.

Issued with full uniforms the platoon set off on camp maneuvers with Jones newly converted armoured butchers van. Much to Jones and Walkers annoyance Mainwaring has converted it to gas and during an air raid that was a false alarm Jones punctured the bag with his bayonet when commencing battle drill.

The platoon eventually arrives at the camp, very late, towed by a traction engine. Unfortunately the platoon van becomes separated from the engine, Jones and Mainwaring proceed to flatten the platoons tents in the process.

The maneuver's go from bad to worse, guarding a pontoon bridge Walker realises it had been sabotaged but not before the Major General and his horse are sent floating down the river in the process. Mainwaring's position is seriously threatened from the outcome.

Returning to Walmington in the midst of an air raid they discover the church hall has been taken over by German Pilot's who were returning to Germany with photos when their plane was shot down. They are armed and many people are held hostage.

Bravely Mainwaring and his men infiltrate the church hall dressed as choir boys and face the enemy head on. The enemy release their weapons to Captain Mainwaring just a Major General Fullard and a mass of emergency services appear on the scene, however the situation is already under control.

Mainwaring later tells Wilson his gun wasn't loaded after Wilson reveals that neither was the airman's.

Assembled at a cliff top overlooking the coast the platoon prepare for an evening of guard duty when they think they hear burrowing underground. Thinking it could be Germans the platoon investigate only for Mainwaring to discover it is actually Pike shuffling his feet.