THERAPY    

My first taste of therapy was when I was about eight years old. I was having problems at school and the teachers were concerned that I was not mixing with the other children. I was referred to an educational psychologist. My favourite memory of this is of the sandpit I played in and the toys I played with, while my mother talked to the therapist.  

    My next referral was when I was fourteen. As mentioned before, the session was an awkward one, with the psychologist asking me intrusive questions about my masturbation habits: this triggered memories of the sexual abuse. As he pushed me with this line of questioning, I felt frozen and fearful. I never saw him again after that session, for which I was relieved.  

    At the age of twenty six, whilst living in Nottingham, I was referred to a general counsellor. I enjoyed talking with her and we had a good rapport, but I didn’t find it very helpful: in fact, it did nothing to ease my depression. After about ten sessions, she had to leave her job for some reason.

   After that, I saw a psychotherapist for a three session assessment. I was told that I was not stable enough to cope with the therapy and that I should consider taking time out from the course. This left me feeling dejected and hurt: were these people not here to help me?  

    A year ago, I entered a group therapy program called the “Complex Needs Team.” Due to the effects of the drugs I was on, I found it a constant struggle to turn up on time, as I found it difficult to get up in the morning. At first, I was nervous, but soon made friends with most of the group members. I found it hard to talk about the things that had happened to me, but I slowly opened up as I gained confidence. I stuck with it for six months, then dropped out for three reasons: a) It was too much of a struggle to get up in the morning and get to the therapy centre on time; b) I felt that the therapy was not doing anything beneficial for me; c) I was tired of the persistent conflicts between some of the group members.  

    In my opinion, therapy can do more harm than good if the therapist doesn’t adhere to personal boundaries (such as asking the patient how often s/he masturbates every night), takes a judgemental approach, or fails to display some level of empathy, or if a group situation becomes hostile and stressful. If done properly and in a professional manner, however, it can work wonders, sometimes to the point where the patient doesn’t need any more medication.