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  Being a short diversion on the dubious origins of Not
  The Beatles....

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Translated from the John Lennon (me think)

Once upon a time there was a little boy called Nigel, by name christened. One day he decided to grow a guitar and form a noise. Funnily enough, he had not a very nice noise; even when played with the piano he carried on his back.

So-o-o-o, he got together with Dr. McPaul, who prescribed illegal drugs, and told him to grow a guitar too. But, alas, Dr. McPaul’s guitar only had four strings. But who shall play this wondrous beast? Certainly not Nigel. So Dr. McPaul said, "I will".

On discovering a third little man called Alvin Sawdust running amongst them they said, quote " You are ahead of your time and at least a foot too long " which he was.

Still there was no beat, and a kindly old aged man said, quote "Thou hast no drums!" We had no drums they scoffed. So along came Pete or is it Ringo and they said "Sonny, grow a set of drums and you will be alright. " So he did and despite his beard he was alright.

But still they needed another guitar so they grew one and his trouble was Billy Bob George and they sat on him with comfort till he could play it. They decided to get together because they were the getting together type and a series of gigs came and went and came.

Many people ask what are Not the Beatles? Uh, Not the Beatles! Why Not the Beatles? Why Not!!!