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I
think we in the south of the borough always nurtured fond hopes that,
in any lawless, post-apocalyptic dystopia, the people of Chingford
would become our slaves. Part of me still hopes this can be arranged,
actually, even without the nukes, and even though I now go about life
at the mercy of Lambeth Council.
[Introduction to Smoke#5 - Matt Haynes]
But then London remembers. It calls you up, asks you to get back in
touch. You’ll refuse, then you’ll listen, and then, as if by some
peculiar magic, you’ll be walking the streets, sitting in cafes,
talking
with strangers, standing on Parliament Hill as the kites dance below
you.
You’ll remember the soft sprawl of Gunnersbury Park, not Acton’s
cacophonies. The drunken loveliness of evenings in Archway, not the
bills left unpaid. Springfield Park in the sunshine, not Leyton in the
rain. You’ll go back to the old house and remember the warmth, not the
tears. How could you forget?
[Introduction to Smoke#5 - Jude Rogers]
It was as if he was trying to create a balloon animal. The ferret was
entirely unconcerned about the fevered manipulation its body was
receiving; it merely blinked now and then. The sight of a ferret being
manipulated would, in itself, have been enough excitement for me, but
then the owner’s young daughter insisted on showing me her party piece.
She opened her
mouth and the ferret put its head in, a modest variation of the
head-in-lion’s-mouth circus trick.
[Rodent Rovings - Jess Sully]
I stay only for a couple of hours that first day but, having visited
once, I have to go back. It encroaches on me, happens to me, gradually,
like it happens to Simone Simon in Tourneur’s Cat People, or so I tell
myself. I’m not (noticeably) fraught with sexual neurosis and there’s
little risk of my turning into a panther, but the comparison appeals
and
before I know it I’m standing at the window again, buying another
ticket,
notebook in hand.
[In Case of Emergency, Break Glass - Grainne Lyons]
I wondered – was there any connection between these nine floozies and
those selective enclaves of London where groceries come wrapped in
faux-nostalgic organic brown paper and chrysanthemums grow in
window-boxes, alive, alive-oh? Any semantic or socio-linguistic root
from which the words muse and mews both grew?
[The Nine Mewses - Anna McKerrow]
The only way out for a down-and-out
Dumbo was the big-top, and even then life was hard: beneath a
roundabout
in Ealing lies the body of one top-hat tossing tusker who, on his way
from Greenford to a matinee on Ealing Common, sounded one last mournful
trump and then keeled over, halfway down Castlebar Road. Pragmatism
being
the better part of honour, his keeper simply rolled him over and buried
him where he fell. The subsequent gyratory traffic-flow was inevitable.
[The Muted Trumpet - Matt Haynes]
William Shakespeare! Good Queen Bess! Morocco the Amazing Counting
Horse! An age when men were real men (except possibly William
Shakespeare), women were real women (except possibly Good Queen Bess),
and horses
were real horses (except possibly Morocco the Amazing Counting Horse,
who was regularly accused of witchcraft).
[Mock Tudor Soup - Lucy Munro]
The fishing, I can only assume, is just a front for some far dodgier
goings-on in the glades of London’s commuter belt. Every time we
entered a clearing we seemed to disturb men involved in either sexual
or criminal acts; or, indeed, acts that were sexually criminal. Enid
Blyton villains with stubble and moustaches and no sign of fishing gear
passed small
blue suitcases to each other and smoked French cigarettes.
Surprisingly,
the sight of two hobbling bespectacled men in shorts didn’t seem to
faze
them.
[Getting Out Of London - Ben Kersley]
Now I stand on London Bridge in the dim smoke of the morning, and
another year is over. Grey buildings suck in dark jackets, starched
collars, shone shoes and taut ties. Cold white circles puff sharply
from thin lips. I hold on to the concrete, watching each set of
features pass blankly, recording each expression like a camera. A
woman, bleach hardening her hair, hard lines of kohl under her lashes,
a wise furrow in her brow, a tissue held to her nose by immaculate
fingernails. A young man, eyes salty from the wind or from tears. A
young girl, her hair damp, her arms full of flowers; she holds onto the
stems, her hands supporting the tight cellophane, and looks into the
river, into the grey, still water. In the midst of her moment, a clock
strikes nine.
[Unreal City - Jude Rogers]
On we go, passing the flowery island of St Mary-le-Strand, bizarrely
garlanded in thick traffic, then gliding up Fleet Street and Ludgate
Hill to be set down at St Paul’s. Reverting momentarily to their
South-East London roots, the 172s then loiter in packs round the back
of King Edward Street before, inevitably, going home again.
[Bus of the Month - Rhian Jones]
Walking here, through the gloomy trench of the old lock where the gates
have gone and a depth-gauge measures the height of the ivy, I passed a
sign telling me golf practice was forbidden. People play golf in
Rotherhithe these days. Isn’t that a thing? While up on Stave Hill a
sleek white windpump shimmers in the last of the sun, pumping water
into ornamental waterways no longer filled by the tides.
[Ancient Works - Matt Haynes]
When I return home, walking down the empty drab streets of Northolt, my
own personal super-8 projection quickens and crackles into life. I’m
not sure what the future holds and, looking back, I know that, if I
wasn’t exactly happy, at least I was content. Especially as some things
have
gone wrong of late and, as I drift into the future, and feel my
childhood
fray into the past, I feel sad.
[Flight Paths - Paul Castro]
Vavona Burr – a faded sixties star, languishing in a Kensington bedsit
in her false eyelashes and bright red wigs. New American Cherry – a
struggling young indie band from Reading trying to get their first big
break. Olive Ash – a chain-smoker who never wanted to be a spinster at
52, wasting in front of daytime television in Cheam. The names of the
Veneer of the Week speak of a kind of sadness, yet are each a small
triumph against the unchanging deadness of outer London motorway
scenery.
[Veneer of the Week - Claudia Conway]
“Come back, Angel – save us!”
I carried on walking, through the subway at the Elephant.
“Come back! Angel! Give us a kiss!”
His two friends howled with laughter.
I got to the end of the tunnel and emerged into the light. I stretched
my skinny, wingless arms up to the pale London sun, and thought: is
this it?
[The Snow Will Come Soon - Hannah Pressman]
With the nuns making it very clear that anyone at St Dulcima’s
caught tuning in, turning on or dropping out would receive an automatic
fortnight’s detention – with possible expulsion if spotted doing all
three at once – and prefects under strict instruction to report
immediately
any signs of psychedelic drug-use or free love in the Lower School, our
experience of the great social changes then being wrought did not, I’m
afraid, go much beyond the half dozen blurry polaroids Sister
Fiorentina
had shown us of the Monterey Pop Festival. “I bet you can barely
recognise
me,” she’d said softly, her freckled face reddening as she’d handed
them
round one rainy break. To be honest, this was scarcely true because,
although
just as naked and mud-smeared as the others, she was the only one
wearing
a wimple.
[Lord, Pity This Ticketless Child - Tricity Bendix]
This ancient highway, first built by the Romans to get out of London,
has developed not so much organically, as bizarrely. One of those
ultra-London places that caters to and for everyone, whether you be
after halal nuggets or an MSG-free takeaway, a life-size toy tiger or a
pint of mild in
the ’Spoons. Whether the Roman legionaries would have stopped off at
Fettered Pleasures for a rubber tunic, or Waitrose for some balsamic
vinegar, is anyone’s guess.
[Where is Holloway Road? - Rachel Stevenson]
Despite my intentions, the vodka was vanishing. Alex hovered over the
children sprawled across the front seats and furrowed her brow. We want
to sit HERE, her expression said sternly. The little imps put their
hooves on the window and carried on speaking in tongues.
[Ghost Riders - Jude Rogers]
Hackney has always expressed itself in filth. A place where everything
is on show, crammed with the horrible details of other people’s lives,
the sluggish artery of the Regent’s Canal its putrid lifeblood, Hackney
frequently raises hairs, cankers feet and inflames rashes. But a new
period in history has begun. Walking back along Mare Street, past open
butchers’ trucks and sun-crispened roadkill and prams filled with the
underwear of dead women, I contemplate what might be lost.
[The State We're In - Hester Sweete]
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