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. The Story of the Tassibee Group Asian Women’s Social, Education & Training Group . (The following information & accounts are available in a paperback book, free of charge) Contents
(This book was compiled in 1999) . Introduction The Tassibee Group is a group of mainly Mirpuri Punjabi speaking Asian women of all ages, from all over Rotherham. Many of the women are isolated and experience considerable difficulty in using public services, particularly health, social care and education services. Many of the older women in the group have never received any formal education and, because Mirpuri Punjabi does not have a written form, are not literate in any language. For the last 6 years the group has met weekly as a support/information group, prayer group and luncheon club. Over the last 2 years the group has expanded its activities and has worked in partnership with a number of local statutory and voluntary organisations:- - Working with the GROW Project (Giving Real Opportunities to Women), the group has organised successful training courses in Personal Development, Confidence Building and Assertiveness and Confidence on Committees for group members - The group has organised consultation & information sessions about services for Asian women for Rotherham Health Authority & Rotherham Social Services - The group has made links with Umeed, a support group for Asian women with cancer in Bradford Most of this has been achieved through voluntary work on behalf of the small number of group members. For the last 2 years the Tassibee Group has had a steering group which is composed of Tassibee Group members elected by the whole group and co-opted workers from local voluntary and statutory organisations, who are committed to the aims of the group and work in a support/advisory capacity. As most steering group members are Mirpuri Punjabi speakers, the business is conducted in this language as much as possible. Professional interpretation services are provided for members who use other languages. In the last 12 months the Tassibee Group has obtained its own office and training base at Greencroft Resource Centre in Broom Valley and has received funding for a Development Worker from Rotherham Borough Council. The Development Worker started work in September 1999 and the Tassibee Asian Women’s Education & Training Project is now developing a comprehensive training and development programme for Mirpuri Punjabi Speaking Asian women in Rotherham. The steering group decided that, at this point in the history of the Tassibee Group, it would be useful to record the development of the group over the last 6 years. We wanted to give encouragement to other groups of Asian women that, although sometimes it is very difficult, it is worth persevering as the solutions and resources are out there. We think that the Tassibee model is successful and we wanted to share it with Asian women, professional workers and organisations to show how it is possible to work together for the benefit of some of the most socially excluded women in Britain. October 1999 Significant Events in Tassibee Group History
. Factors affecting women’s mental health identified by Mirpuri Punjabi speaking Asian women from Rotherham . This report, of the From Debate to Action Conference held in Rotherham in November 1995, identifies many of the difficulties faced by women in the Tassibee Group. Women from the group took part in the conference; for many this was the first time that they had spoken about these issues in public. What factors contribute to a mental health problem? 1 Drug and alcohol use and misuse; in the sense that this would have a direct effect upon a person’s mental wellbeing 2 Marital problems such as living with in-laws 3 Problems relating to children, in particular not having children and the effect this has in a society where children are very important as future carers of their parents 4 Some aspects of arranged marriages; and forced marriages 5 Racism. This was a very commonly held view and women thought it manifested itself in employment prospects, where Asian people could not get jobs even if they had degrees 6 Cultural differences which are not properly understood by white workers 7 Unemployment leading to few job prospects so that women are stuck at home 8 Inter-generational conflict between the elders of the community and first generation British Asians, who to a degree experience the disparity of two very different cultures 9 Socio-economic problems such as financial hardship and poor housing 10 Isolation felt by women as a result of many not understanding English and feeling that there is no-one to help them and that they are stuck at home on their own all the time 11 Physical problems, such as physical illness and disabilities 12 Language problems that are made worse by lack of interpreters 13 Lack of understanding of Asian people by professionals 14 Transitional life stages; for example getting older and feeling a loss of respect as a consequence of not being taken seriously and different attitudes to older people in the English culture 15 Being a carer of someone with health and/or mental health problems 16 Difficulties in education, and in particular pressure from parents to do well 17 Lack of support or help for women generally 18 Death in the family and having to cope with the grieving process with little or no support 19 Low self esteem 20 Immigration problems due to a lack of help or information 21 A general lack of information about where to find things out or go for help 22 A lack of information and knowledge of benefits and welfare rights 23 Existing mental health problems are perpetuated by feelings of inadequacy and being perceived as inadequate by other people. Women felt that there was the stigma of being labelled and losing self respect and respect from the community, once you were diagnosed as having mental problems . What needs do Asian women have that affect their mental health? . What healthcare and support services do Asian women lack in Rotherham? . 1 Education on issues such as what post-natal depression is 2 Professionals need to change their attitude towards Asian women. They need to take them seriously and handle their problems more sensitively 3 We don’t know who to complain to about the attitudes and behaviour of professionals 4 Asian women should be consulted and involved before services for them are set up. It is not good enough to say that doctors are the experts on Asian women’s health needs 5 Counselling is aimed at white people and from a white perspective. We need counselling from a black perspective, which takes account of our culture and religion 6 Support groups for Asian women in the community need funding 7 Asian women want their needs to be met as part of mainstream services, rather than services marginalised as Black projects 8 Asian women do not get support in the evening because they cannot or will not use babysitters 9 Professionals should not use so called ‘community leaders’ instead of coming to consult Asian women at grassroots level 10 Asian women are more than just about sewing classes, but due to unemployment and lack of education they feel their only option is the sewing machine. We would like the opportunity to fulfil our potential and learn a variety of skills 11 There is a lack of courses aimed at Asian women, for example to try to return women to the workforce 12 We need qualified Asian mental health workers 13 We need Asian health and social workers in surgeries, hospitals, clinics and community centres 14 White workers and agencies need training on cultural and religious awareness, and anti-discriminatory practice 15 Asian women need training on mental health 16 Asian women need more information about services available, in a meaningful form. Even when literature is translated, it is often written in a manner which Asian women do not understand. Written information is often a waste of time because many people, for whom the literature is aimed, are not literature 17 There is a need for qualified Asian women across the board, working in all fields but particularly in a counselling and conciliation service. 18 There is a need for proper advice and immigration services on immigration and visa issues 19 Although there is a Patient’s Charter at the hospital, Asian women do not know their rights within it. 20 We have difficulty at hospitals even when the doctors are bi-lingual, because they do not speak Mirpuri and because they are not sensitive to our problems. It is better to place your trust in Allah than to rely on any service providers The story of the Tassibee Group An account by some group members . How long have you been coming to the Tassibee Group? The group is now in its 6th year. Munir & Naseem have been coming since the beginning. Maryam has come for three years How did you find out about the Tassibee Group? "Khalida came back from Abu Dhabi and said to me and my husband “There’s a lot happening for younger women in Rotherham but nothing for older women. There’s nowhere for them to go. We need to do something about it”. "Khalida talked to me about setting up a prayer group" "Khalida told me I should come. She said I should come and see what happens" What did you think when you first heard about it? " didn’t know what Tassibee was or how it was performed. I only knew that Tassibee was the name of a prayer but I didn’t know how to do it or anyone else who knew." "I was really happy to support a prayer group." "I felt there was a need for a prayer group and a place where we could all meet" "There was a lot of opposition to the Tassibee Group in the community. People said there was no need for women to pray outside the home. They said that women would only go to the group so that they could gossip and talk about other women." . What made it OK for you to go? "To start with my husband wouldn’t agree for me to go; he said “You’re too ill and it’s too cold”. My husband gives me a lot of respect but sometimes he is bad tempered and won’t listen. It was important to me to have his consent to be able to go so Khalida talked to him about his responsibilities as a Muslim to convince him that I should go. In the end he agreed providing Khalida picked me up and brought me home (I was ill at the time). Khalida took me there every week for two years." "Khalida’s support helped me to be involved." "I was interested in Islam and I was lucky because Khalida is my relative so I knew what was going on. Having all the information made it easier to get involved." "I wanted to find out how to do this prayer. Learning more is important as a Muslim." What was it like the first time you went? "The first session was just to build interest. It was in someone’s house, it was very cold and snowing outside. It was during Ramadan and we were cold, tired and fasting. The room was big and there was no heating. At the second session the people in the house were still asleep and wouldn’t open the door, but it was the only room we had to meet in." "At the first session there were 5 women but by the 4th session there were 16 women." "I didn’t start going until it was at Cranworth Clinic. I didn’t realise how many women I knew went already. I liked it better because I knew people." . What was good about what had happened? "About 15 years before some women had approached me and said “We are starting a group and we want you to attend sessions”. At the time I was working at home on my sewing machine so I didn’t have time. They even offered to pay me to come to the Centre but I said “I don’t want money and I’m happy with my skills”. "The Tassibee Group was different. It is important to me and I get a lot out of it. I’d been on Haj and someone mentioned that they were going to perform the Tassibee prayers but I didn’t understand or know what to do so I couldn’t join in. I prayed that I would have an opportunity to learn and the Tassibee Group was the answer to my prayers." "We had enough interest to carry on." "We discovered that we could find out things eg things about health like diabetes, arthritis and dental care and how to brush our teeth properly." "We had an opportunity to socialise and to learn about religion in a positive way. We had an opportunity to learn about other things such as our rights as Muslim women." . What were the problems with what had happened? "The room was a problem. It’s not OK to meet in people’s houses, I felt embarrassed, like an intruder. The family was very welcoming and wouldn’t accept any money for rent but you’re not independent if you meet in someone’s house; it’s like they are doing you a favour. It’s not private and you can’t do what you want (like turn the heating up). It was embarrassing going to someone else’s house to pray." "The women were very dependent and made a lot of demands on Khalida for things like transport and childcare." . What happened next? "We moved to Eastwood Youth Centre for a couple of weeks. We had an Eid party and over 60 women came. But the room wasn’t private and people came in and out all the time so it wasn’t safe to pray. Only a few women came to the prayer group." "On the 3rd week we moved to Cranworth Clinic. For the first year we had to meet on Thursday mornings because the room was booked on Fridays, but then they changed the Baby Clinic so we could meet on Fridays. To start with we used to meet at 10.OOam but as the group developed we made the time later so that women had more time." "At Cranworth we merged with the Luncheon Club so we were able to have lunch. Up to then we had only tea and biscuits; we used to take it in turns to bring them." "For the first 2 years Khalida still picked up the women. In the end I was too anxious to get to the group to wait for Khalida so if I was well, I used to walk. Now if I’m well I walk and if I’m ill I get a taxi." "For the first 3 years different professionals used to come each week and give a talk. We don’t do that now." "In the 2nd year we set the rules: - respect each other - don’t put people down - use the time to talk about the group and what we want to do, not other people’s problems "lt’s important not to waste time so that no-one gets bored. Now at the group there is not a lot of time for chatting." . What have you learned about Islam and about prayer by coming to the Tassibee Group? "l’ve been coming for 2 years now. I didn’t know what Tassibee was and I didn’t understand my religion. Now I’m learning Arabic so that I can read the Koran." "Now I can do the prayers on my own at home and I can carry out my responsibilities as a Muslim properly. I feel good in myself and I look forward to Fridays so I can learn more." "l’m often ill but coming to the Tassibee Group helps me with stress and depression, you learn from others." "The Tassibee Group has allowed us to learn and develop our self-confidence and that what we are doing is right." "Translation of the Koran so that we can understand it has been very important." "My life has changed. It’s more organised and I have taken more control." "More women read prayers now — we are more confident." "My brain cells have woken up and I want to learn more. In all my life I never thought about the things I do now." "Religion has helped us and opened doors." . What else have you learned by coming to the Tassibee Group? "We need to find out what we needed and then bring in the right people. Khalida did this for us." "We wanted to learn spoken English so that we could speak out for our rights." "Through the Tassibee Group we are now learning English, Urdu and Arabic. Some group members are now being paid for what we do." "We feel proud of ourselves — we know things now." "I have learned that I have skills but also that I have responsibilities if I use these skills." . What advice would you give to other women who want to start a group like the Tassibee Group? "Older women need to work together to learn their rights as Muslim women, and about their identity and who they are. Then they can teach their children and other people." "lt is important to have a facilitator who can communicate at different levels with different women." "You must work together, listen and be patient with each other." "You need someone who will take on a leadership role and others will help." "To start with, picking people up from home is important until you have built up their interest." "lt’s not just talking, it’s about having your needs met that will help you." . The story of the Tassibee Group — the co--ordinator’s account Why I set up the Tassibee Group? I grew up in Rotherham but, after I got married, I lived with my husband’s extended family in Pakistan. This helped me to understand the role of in-laws in the extended family and how to work with them in a positive way. Then we moved to Abu Dhabi, where I did group work with Muslim women, which had not been done there before. Through this I learned that language was not the most important issue (I was a Pakistani woman in an Arabic speaking country and I couldn’t speak Arabic to start with). The most important thing is raising women’s self confidence and self esteem. When I came back to Rotherham I went to college for further education even though I had four young children. This was a time when even young Asian women didn’t go to college, let along women with children. I got some support from my family but it was really hard. Before I learned to drive I had to go everywhere on the bus. But although it was a struggle, it showed me that as an Asian woman, with a family and children, you could still do it. There was a need for a group for Mirpuri Punjabi speaking women in Rotherham because: - women need to learn about religion in a positive way - older women were missing out because there was nowhere to socialise - women didn’t know their rights as Muslim women - uneducated, non-literate women lacked self esteem and needed to find their identity as Muslim women On my own initiative I did some research and asked women what they needed. The Luncheon Group had already been in existence for 2 months. It was run by Social Services and employed 3 workers. The culture was wrong, there was no respect for the workers. The attitude was — they are getting paid let them do all the work - treating them like servants. Hardly any women went there and eventually we amalgamated with them. iIgot £500 funding to do work on Healthy Eating with Asian women. I got paid £20 a week but I gave £10 to the facilitator who would come to lead the prayers and used the rest to pay for petrol to pick up all the women and for phone calls. I used to have to make notes of what the women said in the discussions and also tape the discussions and then translate the tapes into English. I was really exploited but I was naive in those days. The Tassibee Group applied to be part of the 4C’s Project but we were turned down. I complained to the Department of Health who were funding the project and after that we were included. This gave me confidence to challenge authority when they do things that aren’t right. Within the Asian community there was a lot of opposition to the Tassibee Group: - there was no need for women to pray outside the home - women only go to the Tassibee Group to gossip and talk about other women. During the first 2 years I put a lot of effort into making links with women in the community: - publicising the group - encouraging women to come to see what happens - offering transport - word of mouth/home visiting - visiting open days for Asian women eg Eid parties, information days Developing understanding about Islam I am not a religious leader, just an ordinary woman from the community whose religion and culture is important in her life. I have always tried to bring other women, who knew more about religion than me, into the group. It has been a learning process for me as well. For the first 4 weeks we were able to pay a facilitator to lead the prayers. She was a religious woman, well known in the Community who taught at the Mosque. Then the money ran out so for 1 year at Cranworth we had to take turns to read the prayers. This was unsatisfactory as often we didn’t do it right which was frustrating and didn’t set a good example for the women. I met Sardar at a Crime Prevention Open Day. She had facilitated prayers in Pakistan but I didn’t realise how good she was. I offered to collect her to bring her to the group but she came anyway. No one in the group thought that an old woman could read prayers and they were amazed. Prayer teaches the importance of valuing your time, and the importance of commitment and having structure in your life. It is an important way for women to: - learn about and understand their religion - learn to use prayer as a vehicle for learning about other things - develop confidence, a sense of self-worth and to understand that as Muslim women they have rights ln Islam, once you have fulfilled your religious duties, you are encouraged to do other things in your life, providing you do them in a way that is respectful to others. Women in the Tassibee Group didn’t know how they could put this into action. The idea of fund raising for good causes was alien to women in the group. At the beginning they would not even donate 50p for tea and coffee. Now they regularly fund raise and organise it themselves. This is a result of what they have learned by coming to the Tassibee Group, and being involved in fundraising activities like having a stall at the Rotherham Show. lt has been very important to translate prayers into Urdu and discuss what they mean with the women. We have made audio-tapes with money raised by the women in the group so that women can use the tapes to help them understand the meaning of the prayers that they say at home five times each day. Providing training for Tassibee Group members The local college offered courses for women from ethnic minorities but they weren’t suitable for Tassibee women because they were geared at too high a level and were not in the subjects that women wanted. We needed to find a training provider who was prepared to work in partnership with the Tassibee Group to develop appropriate training. We found the GROW Project (Giving Real Opportunities to Women) through the Tassibee Development Group, which eventually became part of the steering group. Before the Development Group was set up I had no idea of the resources that were available in Rotherham. The Development Group was like a network for the Tassibee Group, which gave us support and information. Through the Development Group we found out that there were ways of getting what we needed. With the GROW Project we developed and ran a series of courses, which were all accredited through the Open College Network. All the courses were bi-lingual, in Mirpuri Punjabi and English and were geared to the needs of women who could not read or write in any language. The first course was a Personal Development course. 25 women came to the introductory session and 15 completed the course. At the first session, when we asked the women to draw with pens on flip-chart paper, we realised that some women had never used a pen before and didn’t know how to hold it. The women insisted on having homework, so we made sheets so they could practise writing letters and numbers, even though the course we had planned didn’t focus on developing these skills. The next stage, attended by 12 women, was Assertiveness and Confidence Building. This was followed by Developing your Skills, which was held at Northern College. We had to liaise with Northern College to provide transport and halal food in the cafeteria. Then we ran Confidence on Committees training for women who wanted to be on the steering group. We got funding for this and used an external trainer, who is now a member of the steering group. I have also run Active for Life taster sessions, covering topics like: - healthier eating - exercise - healthier lifestyles - how to deal with stress I don’t think that this has been done with Asian women in Rotherham before. At the launch of the Tassibee office and training space, women who had been on the courses shared their experiences in public. They said that: - they were so proud that they had gone to college - they had insisted on having homework, which they worked on at home at the time that their grand children did their homework - they now knew their personal information and could write their name, address, telephone number and the date - they knew their numbers and the alphabet - they were proud of their course folders and that they had used new techniques to learn, such as group discussions, role play and drawing. When the training courses started, other women in the community dismissed Tassibee women’s attempts to access education and said ‘You’re too old to learn’. To start with the women were too embarrassed to take their folders home but as they got more confident that all changed. Now they have respect in the community because they have gained certificates. Now Tassibee women ask what other training is available and make suggestions for future courses. Their daughters, daughters-in-law and grand daughters come to me now to find out how they can get involved with the Tassibee Group and what is available for them. . Problems & difficulties as the co-ordinator of the Tassibee Group I did this work in a voluntary capacity for over 5 years. There wasn’t much support from other workers because everyone was busy with their own projects. Even other black workers didn’t really have the time to give the Tassibee Group much support or support me as the Co-ordinator. *As a voluntary worker people take you less seriously than if you are paid. *lf the group is not backed by a statutory organisation, it does not have the power and influence to get involved in the networks. *The Tassibee Group doesn’t fit in the boxes of the system because it works with women of all ages, so no voluntary organisation could support us either. *Although there were a lot of women involved in the group, they didn’t have the skills, knowledge or language to help me much. *Groups like Tassibee are very vulnerable to exploitation by other organisations who will use the group for their own ends. *As a voluntary co-ordinator, with no support, funding or guidelines, I had to do everything for the group from washing-up to organising meetings with professionals to try to obtain funding. *The women had very high expectations of what I should provide; they couldn’t believe that, as an Asian woman, I was doing this on a voluntary basis. *To start with, the women felt that by coming to the group they were doing me a favour and some expected me to do favours for them in return. *I have spent a lot of my own time and my own money getting the Tassibee Group to the stage where we could apply for funding and have a paid worker. I could never have done this without the support and help of my husband and my children. . The story of the Tassibee Group — Jamila’s story I’ve been coming regularly to the Tassibee Group for 4 years now. Manzoor told me about it and I went to see what it was like. Before I went to the Tassibee Group I used to read Namaz at home but I didn’t know what the Tassibee prayer was and I didn’t know how to perform it. At first I felt shy and embarrassed at the Tassibee Group, but once Sardar started reading the prayers it was easy to follow, because she spoke loudly and slowly. I started feeling really good by the end of the session and I thought ‘I should have been here a long time ago’. I’ve learned a lot of things by coming to the Tassibee Group. I’ve learned how to sit in a group and listen to other people. Before I used to say what I wanted to say whenever I wanted but now I know there are other ways of communicating in a group. You need to wait for your turn and follow the rules; listen, don’t gossip, give other women space and respect. I’ve learned how to behave in a setting outside of my home; now I know what to say, when to say it and how to say it. You learn a lot from other people; if you stay at home you feel very isolated. I can’t wait for Friday to come so I can go to the Tassibee Group. It gives me a good feeling in my heart to learn things I didn’t know about my religion. I’m building up to reading a poem from the Quran in the group but I haven’t done it yet. Now I can perform the Tassibee prayer on my own at home, but I enjoy it in the group. I don’t feel shy or embarrassed now. I went to the first Tassibee course - Confidence Building. I was very embarrassed and I felt too old. I thought I’d just go to the first session to see what was involved but I never thought I’d finish it. It was after the first few sessions that I realised there is no age limit on education. Now I have learned to sit and work in a group, which I couldn’t have imagined before and I’ve learned to talk to people in new ways. Now I can say and spell my name and full address. Before I went on the courses I did nothing, even though I’ve lived in England for 35 years. First I had my children and I was busy bringing them up and taking them to school. I never went to English classes because I had young children and my husband was working, so I had responsibilities at home looking after the children. When the children were older I had a home tutor to teach me English but I didn’t learn anything so I stopped her coming. Now I can speak English and I know my telephone number. I’ve changed a lot since I started coming to the Tassibee Group. I’ve changed the way I think about things; I used to feel under a lot of pressure but that’s gone now because I think differently. I used to feel pressured by the family; my husband is mentally ill and I have to take care of him day and night. When he’s not well, my husband gets very angry and tells me that I’m no good and I don’t do anything right. He accuses me of trying to control him and hiding things from him but I have to do this for his own safety. Once he’s better he apologises for what he has done but he can’t really remember. I worry a lot about my husband and what would happen to him if I wasn’t there. Coming to the Tassibee Group on Fridays is a way of doing something for myself and releasing my stress. At the Tassibee Group everyone is laughing and joking and when I go back home I feel refreshed and happy. Coming on the Tassibee training courses has given me confidence. Before I used to have to take someone with me to interpret when I went for hospital appointments because I was to embarrassed to speak English. I knew my English wasn’t very good and I felt ashamed. Now I know that I can communicate in English and as long as people can understand me, it doesn’t matter if my English isn’t perfect. Now at the hospital the staff say to me ‘You didn’t used to speak English but now you’re really good’. Illness is in Allah’s hands but what matters is to be able to explain to other people what the problem is. I feel proud and happy that I can express my feelings for myself. At the hospital they have an interpreter but I don’t use her; I don’t need her now. It’s embarrassing when you have to talk through another person, even if it’s your own children. You can’t say everything you want to — you feel too embarrassed. Now when I go to my doctor’s surgery I can go on my own; I don’t have to make any arrangements with anyone else. Through the Tassibee Group I’ve come this far but I’m hoping to go further. Now I go to the Urdu class, Conversational English and the New Opportunities for Women course. . The story of the Tassibee Group — Sardar’s story I’ve been coming to the Tassibee Group for nearly four years. I’d lived in England for two years before that. Until I went to the Tassibee Group I’d hardly been out for two years and I didn’t feel happy in Rotherham. I missed the environment in Pakistan, where I used to sit with the women and teach them the Quran. In Pakistan there were always people coming in and out of our house to visit us. In Rotherham it was different; hardly anyone came to the house and I never went out. I didn’t even know my house number because I didn’t need to — I never went anywhere except when my son would take me out for some fresh air after he came in from work. I felt really depressed, my health was deteriorating, and I wanted to go back home to Pakistan. Then one day I was invited to an open day for Asian women about reducing the amount of crime in the area where I live. I met Khalida there who told me about the Tassibee Group and asked me if I would like to come. When I got home, I realised that I had forgotten the name of the clinic where it is held, but my son found out for me and he took me to my first meeting. There were only a few women there and I felt they weren’t very confident in what they were doing, so I started to read the prayers. At the end everyone was really impressed with me and asked me to come every week. I loved coming to the Tassibee Group; to read the prayers and be involved in an Islamic session was something that I always wanted to do. It gave me meaning again in my life and gradually, I got to know more women and started to go out to other people’s houses and then to other sessions and meetings. Now I needed to know my house number and my address and phone number. I started to feel comfortable and confident meeting people, like I used to feel in Pakistan, and I didn’t feel like an outsider any more. Now, through the Tassibee Group I am well known in the community and people have begun to invite me to their house to read the Quran on special occasions. Now I go out every day and I can go to the Tassibee office whenever I want. I feel at home there. Through the Tassibee training courses I feel very confident and comfortable talking to English people, like the English people on the steering group. In the past I was very ill and I’ve been in hospital quite a lot. I used to feel very isolated and never talked to anyone. Now I talk to the nurses and the other patients and I don’t feel so bored because I can communicate. Now I have responsibilities in my life so I’m more organised. I teach Quranic Arabic four times a week and I am responsible for the Tassibee office. I also have steering group meetings to attend. All these things are important to me and I organise my life around them. Now in the steering group meetings I can give my views and raise the issues I want to talk about. To start with I didn’t know what to say, but now I do. Now I feel fit in myself, both mentally and physically. I feel happy that I’ve achieved something in my life and that I’m doing the things that I’ve wanted to do. Before I was tired and ill because I was bored and depressed. Now I can share my knowledge and skills with the other women; I get a lot of respect and the love and care of everyone keeps my going. I feel good because I’m a teacher. . The story of the Tassibee Group - comments from the steering group . How did you feel when you first got involved with the Tassibee Group? . "As a white woman I was scared of going into a group of Asian women where no-one spoke English — maybe, to start with, I put off doing it" "1 realised that I wasn’t used to being in a minority situation. Being an outsider and not knowing what to do or what the women were talking about was a very strange experience. I worried that I would look stupid or say the wrong thing or offend someone" "Being in a group where religion was so central was also strange. I had a vague awareness that for many women in the group, Islam was much more central to their lives than religion was to any white person that I knew but I had no idea of the implications of this for the women" "I was overwhelmed by the women’s stories about what the group meant to them and the buzz that happened during sessions" "The women’s enjoyment at being together challenged my stereotype (that I didn’t know that I had) that Asian women prefer to stay at home" "I was fascinated by the age range of women in the group." . What made you persevere with working with the Tassibee Group? "I realised that the group needed resources to develop." "We had access to knowledge and services that Khalida didn’t. As professionals we brought our networks with us." "I persevered because I realised that Khalida needed and wanted links with outside organisations to move the group on and develop it." "We get a lot of respect from the women in the group and seeing their achievements motivates me to stay involved." "I was humbled by Sardar’s willingness and eagerness to share her knowledge and skills with the other women." "The women’s commitment to getting a paid worker and their own space kept me involved." "Tassibee Group members have a wider focus than a lot of other groups I work with. Because they want the group to move on it makes them easier to work with than groups who don’t really want anything to change." "The women have always responded positively to us as professionals. Group members on the steering group have worked so hard to understand professional structures and processes. Because they are prepared to put so much time and effort into it, this motivates me to keep working with the group. I really care about the Tassibee Group and I really want it to succeed." "Watching how the women change and develop is very motivating. When we first suggested on a training course that women could volunteer to take some responsibility for helping to run the group, they were very sceptical. Now if Khalida isn’t there, they run the group themselves." "Working with the Tassibee Group has taught me that I can work with people whose first language is not English - it can be done." "I have been able to move on professionally, in my understanding of the issues, because of my relationship with the Tassibee Group. I now realise that not speaking the same language is not the insurmountable problem that I thought it was." "It has helped me to realise just what a long, slow process is needed to get a group like Tassibee to the point of even applying for funding. The group was volunteer-led for over 4 years and if it hadn’t been for Khalida’s commitment and determination, the group wouldn’t have got anywhere." . Lessons for the future "The steering group has fought for the Tassibee Group and developed it. Everyone has worked together to get office and meeting space and a paid development worker. Having a base with our own facilities is very important for the group. We work hard in the steering group — it is not a social group!" "We need to always be aware of the constant temptation just to work through Khalida, rather than go directly to the women themselves. By doing this we put her in the position of ‘community leader’ which is harmful to her and the group." "The Tassibee Group exists for the benefit of its members, not so that organisations can use it to tick boxes. The group should decide for itself when and how it wants to work with other organisations and not jump every time it is asked to do something." "We still need to work on how we run steering group meetings. The interpreting balance isn’t right - there is too much talking in English. We need to be more focused in the meetings and not try to do so many things at once. We need to help Tassibee Group members take turn in chairing the meetings, with proper support to start with." "We should work all the time on building up the women’s self-esteem; so many of them feel that they are not important." "We should work all the time on building up women’s confidence so that they feel able to access education and training provision anywhere they want." "We will need to work with the group again on whether we should apply for lottery funding (where we have a good chance of success). It is wrong that a major source of charitable funding is derived from gambling, which is not allowed in Islam. It puts groups like Tassibee under a lot of pressure to betray its beliefs and principles just to get the funding to survive." 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Tassibee Tenants Resource Centre, Broom Valley Road,, Rotherham, S60 3AE |